INTRODUCTION

I’m happy to be here to share my story and a few thoughts with you because I believe we have common interests.
I have three questions for you.
Number 1: Is the word “kiss” a noun or a verb? The answer is: conjunction.

Number 2: Is “sex” a noun or a verb? It’s an exclamation.

The third question is: Is “love” a noun or a verb?

The answer is: It’s a verb because love requires action.

I’m going to tell you a story of a young man. He was a graduate student in Korea but came to study in the United States in the early 1980’s. When he came, he had cultural and language barriers which he had to overcome. He was very lonely because it was his first separation from his family.

This young man had a strong character. He always said he would never do three (3) things. When he said “never do”… that was a very extreme statement. He actually was so extreme he said he’d never do these things “over my dead body.” In Korean we’d say even though a knife is at my throat.

The first thing was, he’d never become a Christian. Second was, he’d never marry a U.S. Citizen and third, he’d never buy a Japanese car.

He became a Christian when he failed the university entrance exams in Korea realizing he wasn’t able to do everything alone. When he was in America, peopled tried to arrange marriage for him to Korean-American girls. However, eventually he met and married a Caucasian American from the Midwest.

He never wanted to buy a Japanese car because of the history of Japanese colonization of Korea. However, after he was married, the first car he ever purchased was a Mazda 323 because it was cheap and easy to maintain.

The moral of this story is: never say never. Extreme overcomes extreme. This narrow minded thinking comes from the old ideas we had ingrained in us from childhood. These old concepts control our thinking to the detriment of others. We need to learn to think openly without having these old thought patterns control us.

When this young man came to America the first time, he had very strong anti-American feelings that he brought with him from Korea. He was taught that America is a big country and Korea is small so he always thought America was taking advantage of us or controlling us. Even though he had that kind of anti-American feeling, I don’t know why he came here to study. I think he must have thought it was the best way to be successful when he returned to Korea.

When he was here he attended Bible study for international students. He met some American students who were teaching the Bible to foreign students. He saw an American student named Kent who was trying to explain the story of Jesus to one Japanese girl who didn’t speak English at all and had no Christian background. He saw Kent crying because he couldn’t tell her what the Gospel was.

He was surprised to see Kent crying because he didn’t know American’s really cared. He came to realize that he couldn’t dislike an entire group of people in general. After seeing Kent, he realized that everything depends on the person. There are good guys and bad guys in America and good guys and bad guys in Japan. He learned a very important phrase: “it depends”. That was the beginning of his mind being opened. It was his turning point.

Do you know who this young man was? That young man was me.

WHO ARE YOU

That tells you who I am, but now, WHO ARE YOU? Let’s talk about identity. Are you American or Korean? You are struggling to discover who you are. When you realized that your mother and father looked different and speak different languages, you began to wonder who you are.

I found the answer from my two sons who are here today. You are unique and very smart and wise. You have all the advantages of two cultures while your parents only know the advantages of one. You cannot say you are only one or the other: you are both.

You are one step ahead of other people because you can see things with balance which comes from both sides. As long as you are proud of yourself, that’s where you find your identity. Don’t struggle trying to choose. Have strong self confidence in being both and bridging two worlds.

Your parent made a choice when he or she came to the United States and got married. He or she chose to marry outside their culture. Your father or mother’s generation didn’t know the American culture and language well, but he or she endeavored to learn. When I came to America the first time, I thought Taco Bell was a telephone company and I didn’t know I had to spit out mouthwash, I swallowed it.

But you know automatically because you were born here. There are so many different cultures and languages in this world. However, you are experiencing the most popular American culture and Asian culture.

You who are familiar with American culture may not easily understand your parent from a different culture. If you had to choose to live in a different country, what would you do? Even though some of you don’t want to choose, but if you HAD to choose, what would you do? Sometimes, you may not understand your mother or father’s generation because of the different culture.

Try to walk in their shoes at least once. It is not easy for them to change overnight because language and culture cannot change instantly. When you understand and accept your parents and you find the best from both of them, you will find your own identity and know yourself.

LOOK DIFFERENT

Now I want to talk about appearance. I have two sons and I observe them. They are very good looking because they have western and eastern images. You look different from others. I look different from Americans. Some people think being different is being inferior.

On the other hand, different means being unique and is your strong point. When you think you are different and inferior you will lose your self confidence and you will doubt other people’s good intentions.

Your difference starts from within yourself. If you think of yourself as inferior, you will keep others from approaching you. You must think of yourself as the same as others: not inferior to them. You have to open your heart and let others come to you because they don’t think you are different.

As a father of two sons, I also struggle. When we attended a Korean church I had so many nights I couldn’t sleep well because my son didn’t get along well with other kids in church. It was very hard for me to feel my son’s pain. I believe you had a similar experience. We changed from a Korean church to an American church and I did my best for my kids.

I realized that no matter where you go, there are good kids and bad kids in any churches. Some people may think you look different and won’t hang out with you. But, that is individual personalities: so “it depends.” Some people may like you or not. Don’t close your mind.

The right way to know you’re not different requires courage. You should approach people first?don’t wait for them to come to you. You have to lead the world and you have to change the world. You are unique. You have courage. Now you should be proud of yourself. You are not the garbage of race but you are the ambassador of race. The most shining star is the star that has yet to be discovered. You are that star that will be discovered.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

Now, most people have one but you have two cultures. The reason God gave you one more is a blessing. Have you ever thought that was to serve others?

Approximately 5 years ago, in July, I happened to read a Korean newspaper article about the horrible life of Amerasians in Korea. Those Amerasians are different from you because they were abandoned by their American fathers during wartime and even into the present time. Because of discrimination in Korea, half of them had either committed or attempted suicide. Many couldn’t get jobs and were unable to find someone to marry.

When I read that article, I realized they are like my children. So I decided to do something for them because I understand them better than others. That’s when I began helping the Amerasians in Korea by donating money to Hi Family group that started the campaign for Amerasians rights in Korea. However, even though it achieved some small changes, people are very difficult to change.

So, I brought this issue to America hoping if this issue were addressed here it would have an impact in Korea as well. I contacted Congressman Lane Evans to submit the first Amerasian bill to grant US citizenship to those Amerasians who came from 5 Asian countries who reside in America. What I have done was not for profit but was the right thing to do.

The most important thing in life is not what you have but who you are. The judgement of who I am is not measured by what I have, but by what I do. Especially what kind of meaningful work I do. You need to do what others won’t do. What you are doing determines your life’s importance. Because of who you are and your self identity, you are better equipped than others to understand and help the forgotten people in our society.

NEVER GIVE UP

What is the opposite of success? It’s not failure but giving up. Failure is not always a bad thing, because even though you lose sometimes you win. That’s why giving up is the opposite of success. The success I’m talking about here is not the type of success that most people talk about. Many people think that when you make lots of money or gain reputation, that is success.

However, true success means you have accomplished your dreams. You should not give up. When you set goals and work hard and pray, your dream will be achieved. Many times I wanted to give up.

When I first came to the US in graduate school, I had to pass the TOEFL exam. Even though I was getting good grades in graduate school, the English tests were hard to pass. I was almost thinking of giving up and returning to Korea. I felt if I returned to Korea it would be shameful because so many people came to see me off at the airport when I left, I wouldn’t be able to face them. I couldn’t quit so I kept studying harder.

Then, later, I did my best and felt peace inside that I had worked hard enough so if I failed I would return home without shame. I gave up myself but didn’t give up on my goal. I then passed. So, the opposite of success is not failure, but giving up. Since I didn’t give up, I could succeed. So whatever you do in your life, I strongly urge you not to give up. As long as you don’t give up you will succeed.

When I gave up myself, I became more humble. You should be humble so you can understand others and yourself.

When I was in Omaha in graduate school, I worked as a bartender. Since I don’t drink, so my nickname was “Virgin Bartender.” I worked only Friday and Saturday. One day I was sick. So I told my friend to cover for me on Friday evening. I went back to work on Saturday night. The owner was a Japanese guy named “Sato”. I expected him to come to see if I felt better, but instead he yelled at me and asked “why didn’t you come yesterday?” He said, “business is business.”

I was very embarrassed and ashamed. I got angry because I was yelled at by a Japanese. While I was working that night, I heard the Japanese music which sounded like old Korean songs, I became nostalgic for my family and thought of quitting the job. Basically because I was yelled at by a Japanese. Later, I thought differently. I decided, I wouldn’t quit until he fired me. I decided to prove myself to him. I worked harder and was polite to him, acting like nothing had happened before.

Later, I realized that Sato did that to me intentionally. He had a bachelor’s degree in political science from Wasada University in Japan. I was studying for my master’s in political science. Since he knew what I was studying, he tried to teach me about real life.

When I finished my degree, I bought him dinner before I left. While we were eating dinner I told him in Japanese. You are my life’s teacher. He laughed and said: “in order to be a manager of this restaurant, he kneeled down and cut onions at the beginning, even though he graduated from Wasada University which was the number 1 private university in Japan. He said, you have to lose face first to be a great man. That’s what he taught me: how to lose face.

When you work hard and lose face, you have stress. I always had ulcers. I worried about my client’s cases all the time. I would think about them at home on weekends. I told myself, I was taking care of my clients and was concerned about them. When in reality, I was more concerned that if something would go wrong, it would ruin my reputation. I realized that I wasn’t caring so much for my clients as I was caring for myself and my reputation.

This is what was giving me ulcers. Once I realized and let go of my concern about myself and truly focused on others, my stress was reduced and my stomach was better. Stress is a creation of your self-centered mind. Therefore, the best way to release your stress is to put others first.

Because I didn’t give up, I’m standing here before you.

YOU CAN BE WHAT YOU BELIEVE

Now you are humble, you’ll never give up and you will accomplish what you believe in. I failed the bar exam in Korea, but I am a successful lawyer in America. This is a miracle. However, you can do better than me. You have better conditions than I had.

First, you speak English better than me. Second, you know American culture better than me. Third, you have your American father’s last name. I have this last name which is always mispronounced. Chooon, Chung… my kids always complain about teachers saying it wrong. If I can become successful in American society, you can do too.

You may think that since I’m an attorney, I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth. However, in the beginning of my career I had a difficult time. When I first started my practice, I had no clients, no money and no reputation. I had a wife and young baby at home. I couldn’t afford to even take the metro during rush hour but waited until the lower fares came into effect to get to work.

In order to build my practice, I couldn’t afford advertisements, so I wrote articles on immigration and gave them to a local Korean newspaper for publication. Some of you may think those who write the articles get paid, but I didn’t. In return I got a small free ad in the paper. The articles themselves were advertisement. After I wrote these articles on a weekly basis for a year, my practice grew and these articles became my first book published in Korea on US Immigration Law.

I continued to write and my practice continued to grow. I’ve published 9 books in Korea and have started a new law firm. If you have strong enough faith and believe in yourself, opportunity will come to you.

As an attorney when I see clients, my cases are very successful. They think it’s because I’m a good attorney. But after almost 20 years, I’ve come to realize the success of their cases is because of their own faith. My point is ? your faith determines your life and brings you opportunities that you hadn’t thought of. Not society or someone else’s skills. You can determine your own life because of what you believe.
Have strong faith. Use your strengths so that you make yourself a productive person in American society. I want you to be a pioneer individual who changes the world. You can do it. Look at Tiger Woods and Sen. Obama. You can become greater than them.

ARE YOU HAPPY?

You are humble, you didn’t give up and you accomplished what you believe in. So, are you happy?

So, are you happy? Therefore, you are thankful.

So, you are happy that’s why you are thankful. But, I read a book once which said, it’s not because you’re happy that you are thankful, but because you are thankful… you are happy. You can be happy when you are thankful for what you have, not dwelling on what you don’t have. Be thankful for who you are, for what you are doing and then you will be happy and you will make others in your life happy.

Happiness is a choice. If you decide to be happy, you will be happy no matter what your situation is.

In the beginning I mentioned that love requires action. Therefore, I encourage you to love yourself, love people and serve people. This is the purpose of your life. I know you can do it and I’m so proud of all of you.

Thank you.